I THINK I fully understand now!

Saying that I'm arrogant is just a cover up or a partial cover-up. The actual fact is that she has never stopped comparing herself to me. Everytime I share my achievements with her, she will have conflicting feelings. One side of her is truely happy for her friend. The other side of her starts to feel bad when she starts comparing. This feeling is bottomed deep inside her heart. And that has increased in intensity throughout these 2 years as my achievements increases.

Maybe she does not preach what she says. She says judging your self worth through comparing with others is arrogant and insecure. However, deep down inside she has never stopped comparing and competing with others.

It maybe due to the conflicting feelings that she has that has caused her much agony. Otherwise she could just have given me a scolding and straighten things out. Why is there agony involved?

It is also my fault that I was insensitive and did not spare a thought for her feelings. Despite knowing that her students did not achieve in terms competition and summer schools, I still went ahead and appeared arrogant in her eyes. In my thoughts, I didn't think I was arrogant, I was merely sharing my true joy and feelings. Hiding true joy and appearing "humble" would be very hypocratical. I thought it was ok since she didn't even believe in sending her students into such things in the first place. But I was wrong.

I didn't know that sharing all my joy with a close friend can appear as boastful and arrogant.

But despite her pretending to be a good friend for these 1-2 years, I still believe that all the things that she has done for me in the past has been from the bottom of her heart.

Anyway, I don't know whether this is true or not. Only she will know best. I still thank her for telling me all these and I wish her all the best!

Quotes of the day:
Always express your true feelings.
Hiding or not being your true self is hypocratical.
Embrace all shortcomings and critise when necessary.
Running away is not a solution to the problem.

Yeh, I'm glad to see M back to her cheerful self in class! She looked down for a while.

To M: Wonderful wonderful for picking yourself up and moving on with life! Continue to dance well, move freely and express yourself! You are the best! hee :)